Enjoying God's company

Everytime I am alone at home or out running errands, I would often crave for another person's company. You know, a real human person other than a substitute like a book or the radio. A real human person that is not around by chance, but rather by choice to spend time with you.

With that Someone, I'd love to talk to her. Tell her about stuff and to hear her thoughts regarding things, current affairs, life in general, school, work or even the weather.

It doesn't really matter. I'd just love to listen and talk.

And to tell you guys the truth, this does not happen quite often especially since my social life is very, very pathetic. I would like to say that its pathetic by choice, but it is not. It was at first a choice, but now its sticking with me even though I don't really like the situation I am in right now.

It is sometimes painful to see throngs of girls talking and laughing at the mall or friends' facebook pictures filled with their friends doing funny poses(and sometimes mine too) and I am missing in there. Everywhere.

Honestly, sometimes it hurts so bad that I am missing out so much fun and excitement and that I am missing out on people's life. I'd just think I'm missing out on life.

Yet sometimes when I do manage to have company it gets rather boring. I find myself bored to death and I regret going out in the first place. I'd crave to be alone there and then so that I would not need to entertain the other party or worry that I am so boring that the person won't ever, ever want to go out with me every again.

I know that I am supposed to enjoy being with myself before others would even enjoy being with me. I totally know that. But how am I supposed to enjoy being with myself when I don't even get a break from myself? I haven't even got an out-of-the-body experience mind you.

Before I figure that out, I certainly do know that I am okay with being alone by myself. I am okay with that. Its just that there might be chances that not being alone is better that is bothering me.

And while I am somewhat forced to be alone, I might as well learn several things along the way:

1. Treasuring God's company (He is always, always with me even when the whole world walks out)
2. Treasuring my own company (I may be the most boring person for all I care, but as long as I don't bore me out its still cool)
3. Treasuring subsitute human company (Books might be the essence of people's thoughts which are what I am interested anyway. So are funny youtube videos. etc)
4. Bettering myself as a person by praying, reading the bible, and trusting Jesus to complete His work in me.

I am feeling better already. Thanks guys.

glorious bite of the whole world

Indeed blessings come in twos! Haven't had so many posts on this blog in just a matter of days for a long time!

But for now, in this flat in which I live alone, I am grateful for not feeling the need to defend myself and the things I do constantly.

Second chances

I'm honestly grateful for second chances. Not to mention the third, fourth, fifth, etc.

i should have thought of this sooner!

what will give you, or anyone, happiness for 7 minutes and more is... going to painting class! it made me feel very amused to be sitting in front of an easel and canvas, and brushing actual paint (not Popular brand poster paint), with classical music in the background. I don't think you actually need to like what you're painting, or even know what you're doing, because either way you will still look like an ARTIST. hahaa :D

it's also a kind of happiness that lasts, because days afterwards when you look at your painting, you remember the brush strokes that you made there, the smeary edges that you didn't blend properly, or dots of paint you dabbed accidentally, and knowing that you made this thing makes you feel quite warm inside.

fish muruku also makes you happy. (I guarantee it)